Hi TorninTwo.... My husband felt like you the first year we left...He had to go... just to see..... He did not believe it to be the truth, but something, something, drew him.... I went with him, as an observer... Kind of interesting to watch as a 'nonbeliever'...
We went to a congregation that was not "ours" that we had helped build, so some people may have recognized us.... We entered "late"... as in just before the song..... We listened to the meaningless, repetitive talk, and watched the wine go by.... then the bread.... (or is it the other way round?)
But, to sit there and listen and realize.... Jesus did not say you had to "go to a Kingdom Hall" to remember him", and that if you did "celebrate" (does the Bible say 'Celebrate" or is the WT just trying to make JWs feel like they get tot 'celebrate' something???) at home, with your family "you are not remembering him" and "only those going nto heaaven should partake"...... Jesus did not have all those caveats, did he?
Maybe you can just go down close to the K Hall, sit in your car, close enough to observe, and look at how everyone is dressed.... They are thinking about how their brand new "memorial" clothes look.... and perhaps, "whose house they will go to afterwards" for refreshments.
The "memorial of Christ's death'?